I Know an Old Lady

I know an old lady who swallowed a fly.

     I don’t know why she swallowed the fly...perhaps she’ll die.

(Don’t go any further.  Save the rest for tomorrow. One day at a time. Wait for it...)

I know an old lady who swallowed a spider

  that wiggled and jiggled and tickled inside her.

She swallowed the spider to catch the fly.  

I don’t know why she swallowed the fly...perhaps she’ll die.

I know an old lady who swallowed a bird. 

   Oh, how absurd to swallow a bird.

She swallowed the bird to catch the spider

She swallowed the spider to catch the fly.  

I don’t know why she swallowed the fly...perhaps she’ll die.

I know an old lady who swallowed a cat.

   Imagine that!  She swallowed a cat!

She swallowed the cat to catch the bird.

She swallowed the bird to catch the spider

She swallowed the spider to catch the fly.  

I don’t know why she swallowed the fly...perhaps she’ll die.

I know an old lady who swallowed a dog.

   What a hog!   She swallowed a dog!

She swallowed the dog to catch the cat.

She swallowed the cat to catch the bird.

She swallowed the bird to catch the spider

She swallowed the spider to catch the fly.  

I don’t know why she swallowed the fly...perhaps she’ll die.

I know an old lady who swallowed a cow.

   I don’t know how she swallowed the cow!

She swallowed the cow to catch the dog.

She swallowed the dog to catch the cat.

She swallowed the cat to catch the bird.

She swallowed the bird to catch the spider

She swallowed the spider to catch the fly.  

I don’t know why she swallowed the fly...perhaps she’ll die.

I know an old lady who swallowed a horse.....

She’s dead, of course.